Groundhog Dating
Hi Babe,
Thank you for your letter. Dating has become a minefield and everywhere we turn there are literally tonnes of books, podcasts and experts telling us how to do it right. As we mature it can feel all the more daunting because the way we meet people has changed dramatically. Yet regardless of how we go about dating, I believe we all know deep down that it should feel right when it is right.
You mention your relationships recently do not last and have taken this to perhaps mean that the common thread is you. I wonder if you considered that the common thread is that they were not worth investing any more time in and therefore were not right for you? You’re not lost, babe, you’ve just not found someone compatible yet.
When we have been single for some time it can be hard to be vulnerable, which we need to be prepared for when entering into a new relationship. Self reflection is really powerful and in the case of romantic relationships this is to truly understand what you want and what you’re able to give. Do you feel worthy of the love you deserve? Are you treating yourself the way you want to be treated? Are you prioritising the joys in your life? And do you know what type of character you want to build a life with, so you know what you're looking for? These questions can be hard to answer so take time to note down your feelings and sit with your answers. Self love and appreciation is your magnet for love to flow to you.
Once life opens back up and you can be social again, consider new hobbies you may like to try and places you want to visit so that you can meet people without meeting ‘the one’ being the objective. You’re more likely to connect with people with common interests and broaden your circle. Approach meeting someone new with lightness and embrace dating to choose rather than be chosen.
With love, Malee
