To be (or not to be) social!

‘Yay!’ we cry, the world is opening up once more! We hear whispers of the prospect of a life we once knew, we can smell the faintest fragrance of BBQ smoke as we walk down the street and we hear the ping of notification after notification promising another invitation or a social media update. Our timelines are full of photos of freezing cold people huddled together in a beer garden, each grinning excitedly with a beverage in hand.

It is wonderful in so many ways, and resuming ‘normal’ life again feels long overdue, but let’s not skip past the fact that we have changed. We are not exactly how or who we were a year ago. Many of us find the prospect of being social again daunting, and for some, it’s overwhelming.

So I’m writing out some things that you might want to try. These aren’t a one-size-fits-all kinda thing — and if you’re really struggling, let’s chat — but if you just need a gentle guide, I hope this helps.

We’ve changed pace, perspectives have shifted and so have our priorities. This can impact our energy and how we output. I would suggest you consider reserving your energy and resist the feeling that you instantly have to accept every invite. Plot some catch-ups in your diary but don’t overwhelm your free time. If you are anxious about seeing friends and family again perhaps keep numbers small and plan short coffee catch-ups rather than draining your energy with extended events.

If you have never been a boundary person then the pandemic may be a bit of an opportunity for you to start setting some from today. Communicate, however — don’t leave messages on ‘read’ because you feel bad for not feeling social, just let them know that you need a rain-check and perhaps offer an alternative date or suggestion (obvs only if you want to see the person, if not then that’s OK too). Respect your own pace and respect your time. You do not need to move at anyone else’s speed. FOMO is so last season and social media lies not everyone out and about is having all the fun.

I will say though that it is important to take small steps toward interaction and connection in person with others, just do so in ways that you can look forward to and not dread. Also remember we can now be a little more spontaneous again, so don’t put pressure on yourself to schedule things you know you might cancel. Perhaps when you’re having a good vibe day and you fancy sharing it, reach out and go with the flow!

I hope that 2020 allows us to truly treasure time with our loved ones and connect with strangers in a new and sincere way. If you are ready to get out there and squeeze as many engagements into a week then GO YOU! But if you're not ready to jump straight into the deep end, just start with dipping a toe and ease yourself gently into the summer of 2021.